Escorted Trips to Korea; FAM or not

I have posted earlier about travel in Seoul, South Korea. You might wonder what exactly brought me there in the first place. I stumbled across "an advertised as" luxury FAM (Familiarization) trip to South Korea, a place I had never visited.

Familiarization tours (FAMS) are trips in which journalists, tour operators or travel agents experience the region first-hand.

I decided to go as part of this particular FAM as the offer seemed just too good to pass up. Beware, if something seems to good to pass up, it is!

Having never heard of the company who was sponsoring this trip, I called and spoke with the agency's manager directly. They talked a good talk. They claimed to specialize in Asia and offered different FAM trips once to twice a month. They confirmed that we would be not-only be staying at five-star hotels but that indeed all air, meals, gratuities and sightseeing admissions would be included for just under a thousand dollars.

The land-package was for only 6 nights, which I knew would be a bit of an issue for me as I usually need a few days to adjust to the time change. But this deal persuaded me to leave my comfort zone.

I talked my daughter into accompanying me and a few weeks later we left.

We arrived in Seoul very late at night the only connection possible from Los Angeles. As promised, we were met at Incheon International Airport by the tour company's driver. He didn't speak English and we didn't speak Korean.

The van we were in so desperately needed shock absorbers that we felt every bump for an hour and a half. We had no idea that the Seoul airport was located so far from the city. We kept asking "Are we there, yet?" like little kids the whole trip. He kept answering us in Korean but neither of us understood a word the other was trying to say.

But we finally arrived and the COEX Intercontinental was very nice. Our driver took us and our luggage to the reception desk. The front desk clerk gave us our keys, breakfast coupons and a note telling us to be in the lobby at 8 a.m. to meet our guide.

Exhausted, we went to our room The rooms were exceptionally clean, spacious and very adequate. The furnishings were nothing special, but the room didn't lack for anything either.

The COEX hotel breakfast buffet was unbelievable and seemed to have everything and more: bagels and smoked salmon, dim sum, made-to-order omelets, miso soup, sushi, pancakes, cereal, crepes and steak--it was all there.

Unfortunately, the hotel turned out to be the only high-end feature of our trip. This trip was pitched as a luxury FAM, but the semi-luxurious features ended there. Our tour group was small: 7 of us, plus our guide and driver.

Though our guide was very nice and knowledgeable about Korea, the tour itself was horrendous.

The bus we were on was old and worn. The daily itineraries were very poorly paced and very poorly planned. We spent extremely long periods of time on the bus and often found ourselves taken from one part of town to another part and then back again.

The waste of time and fuel would be upsetting under any conditions, but what added injury to insult was Seoul's traffic, some of the worst in the world. It makes driving in Los Angeles traffic look like child's play.

Our tour was not expertly planned. Though our guide was sweet, she could not think outside of the box at all. She planned our itinerary around our meals, which were bad at best. The touristy nature of the itinerary was shocking as we are a group of professional travel planners and travel writers who know better.

I was flabbergasted that they would take us to such overt tourist traps such as [give a specific example or two here]. Somewhere there was a huge disconnect between our expectations as travel professionals and the way we were treated.

Sure, we saw the Royal Palace, the Folk Village, the National Museum and we shopped in the Dongdaemun Market and Itaewon to name a few places. But we were also taken to the Amethyst Factory, which was not even a glorified show-room where they tried to sell us jewels at "very special prices."

We were also shown the government-authorized "Ginseng Factory," which turned out to be just another storefront selling the same ginseng available on every street corner.

But nothing topped our cooking school experience at Seoul's Kimchi School.

Kimchi is served everywhere in Korea. It's a fermented dish consisting of a main vegetable flavored with a variety of spices and seasonings. The most popular version is made with cabbage. Chili pepper and salt seems to be the most popular spices, but you'll find lots of others like ginger, scallions, garlic, etc. There are hundreds of types of kimchi and it is said to be very healthy. The Koreans are very proud of it and take it very seriously.

As for me, I ate enough kimchi and rice to last the rest of my life that week. But that may be the fault of our guide as she pre-arranged every meal and every meal was some type of kimchi dish: beef and kimchi, chicken and kimchi, seafood and kimchi.

The Kimchi School is located in a large commercial building. We waited in a large foyer where pictures of kimchi hang everywhere. Our group was taken into one of several rooms where prearranged ingredients were laid out in front of us. A staff member from the so-called cooking school gave us gloves and instructed us how to make kimchi from the ingredients. Five minutes later, we were done. We were given the option of taking our kimchi with us or we could donate it. Bizarrely, the one thing we couldn't do was eat it there!

I love to cook. In fact I have taken many cooking lessons during my life, but never have I taken a class where you aren't even offered a sample of the food or a glass of water.

After our "lesson," we were taken to an exhibit of traditional Korean Wedding Costumes that we were encouraged to try on ourselves. Very bizarre. I failed to be entertained by dressing up in costumes and modeling them in front of a mirror. To add insult to injury, I believe these costumes were created for non-Koreans as Koreans are of smaller stature overall than Westerners. If these costumes weren't made for Westerners, there would be no way that anyone would have been able to fit in the costumes.

Finally, our group rebelled and demanded that we actually see something significant. We paid a lot for it, but we spent our last day at the DMZ, the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea, a trip that truly deserves it's own future blog.

The lesson of this experience is that if you opt to go with an organized tour, make sure you do your homework about the tour company and the guide you will be assigned. Make sure you know if the Escorted Tours will be Budget, First Class, Deluxe or Luxury. Make sure you ask questions!

Not having to get directions or make parking arrangements if you're visiting several spots can be great. Having your day mapped out, pre-planned and pre-paid can make a lot of sense, but it's essential to be smarter about it than I was.

Find out as much detail as you can, even about the less-obvious things. For example, will there be pre-paid meals at fine restaurants where you get to choose your meal or will you be taken to a different tourist-class place and served same horrible meal at every lunch and dinner?

Find out what entertainment is included. If the guide suggests a show not on theitinerary for an added price, find out exactly what it is before you agree to go. Do not feel the need to go along with everyone else like we did. Keep in mind, the guides often get kickbacks to take you to local tourist trap shows.

Make sure your itinerary has a good balance between unscheduled and scheduled time. Know what tips are actually included in the costs.

Although gratuities were supposed to be included in our trip, my guess is that the porters, hotel staff, waiters and drivers did not see one red cent.

The moral of this story is that I would never put my client in the hands of that particular tour group, even if it turned out to be the only way for them to see Korea.

Be careful and do your homework. We travel professionals can only give you first-hand advice if we have had first-hand experience.

Always ask your travel professional if they have personally been to the place you want to visit. If not, have they actually sent any clients with this company before? Do not be their experiement! If they personally sent clients' to that hotel, find out the feedback the provided.

Always remember, forewarned is forearmed, and you get what you pay for!

Korean Massage or Mauling?

Dare I tell you about our most unforgettable Korean mother-daughter experience?

As previous posts explain, I was traveling with my adult daughter in Seoul.

On the flight over I came down with an horrendous cold and ear infection. Unfortunately, I passed it on to my daughter, who shortly was in even worse shape than I was and could barely breathe at all.

Both of our colds turned into serious sinus infections. I couldn't sleep so I went to the spa to check it out.

The entire ladies spa at the COEX Intercontinental is literally located within a sauna, which is where the treatments are given. I am not usually a sauna lover but I figured that a sauna just might clear our sinus.

The receptionist handed me a menu of services. I booked appointments for both of us, scheduled simultaneously--my daughter for an aroma therapy massage. For me, a foot and face massage.

We went down to the 5-star-rated health club and, as the rules stated, left our shoes at the door. The attendant handed us house-coat type robes made from light cotton and shower shoes and escorted us to our lockers. We changed and headed for the treatment room.

Inside the room we found two Korean women, both dressed only in matching black bras and underwear. One woman was relatively thin while the other was built like a sumo wrestler.

My daughter and I thought we had stumbled into someone else's treatment session. Before we could turn around to leave, the thin one whipped off her bra, grabbed me by the hand and led me to a table.

What in the world had I got us both into?

Before my daughter could stop her, the fat one snatched her robe from her and laid her down on the other table.

My daughter gave me that 'what the hell is this' look. She sniffed through her cold: "This is totally awkward."

Meanwhile, I start roaring with laughter.

The treatments began. I was wondering why my therapist took her bra off but, I figured, what the hell--if topless massages are the thing in Korea, so be it!

The foot massage felt like the masseuse was poking me with a corkscrew every few seconds in a different spot--constant pain with no relief.

Even with plugged ears I heard my daughter quietly pleading, "Lighter please." As it turned out, the whale had placed a towel on my daughter's rear, then climbed on top of her and dug her knees into her to add more pressure. Luckily, my daughter survived.

Meanwhile, my "therapist" is working on my legs with what feels like a mallet. I was laughing hysterically--the more we ask them to lighten up the more pressure they apply.

My therapist turned me over for my face massage. She started out by slapping me in the face and then pinching me in very quick rhythmic fashion, until I felt one of the Three Stooges.

This beating was followed by the application of some cold, soothing ointment, which I hoped might stop the black and blue marks from appearing. Next, she started to wrap my face in gauze as though I were a mummy. When the wrapping reached my cold-clogged nose and mouth, I grabbed her hand and firmly said, "No."

My therapist muttered something in Korean, then took a scissors and cut a tiny hole for my nose. I grabbed the gauze and unwrapped myself: "No! I can't breathe!"

Meanwhile, my daughter's therapist was sprawling across her body to massage her neck. My poor child was encased in the therapist's blubber and literally wiggling to crawl out from under her.

My daughter escaped before me. Later, I found in her house-coat-like robe, dangling her feet in the hot tub.

"That--" she took a giant pause"--was not relaxing."

The black and blue marks on my legs were starting to appear. I dipped my toe in one of the individual baths and almost went into shock at the temperature of the freezing cold water.

I quickly dressed and met my daughter at the desk as she was signing us both out.

How was the massage? Did she feel better? the receptionist wanted to know.

"Definitely," she lied.

We limped back to our room now needing to recover from far more than a bad cold!

Real Korean Women Do Eat

A very disturbing observation is that the Korean women really do eat. They all look like models. They are tall and skinny. I made a point of gawking at every dish everyone of these stunning woman (and men) ate. And they did not push food around their plates anorexic-style; they ate whatever was put in front of them

Now in yet another future Blog, I will address Kimchee which by the way was the only meal our tour guide ever arranged for us, but this is a good place to point out that the Seoul has more American Food chains then most US cities. We saw Subway, Quiznos, Coldstone, Baskin Robbins, Tony Roma, California Pizza Kitchen, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, KFC, Bennigans, Fridays, Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds, Outback Steak House, and I could go on and on.

When you look inside these places they are packed with Koreans, not Americans.

But I had my reality check when I went into Red Mango, a tart frozen yogurt franchise which began in Korea. I looked at the portions and asked for a large.

For reference, their large is equivalent to our medium. I had ordered to-go. They intelligently prepared my desert in ice to make sure it stayed cold. I was impressed. I looked inside the bag and saw four spoons.

I must have looked puzzled so the woman handed me more. Why would I need so many spoons? I could see one extra in case I dropped one but....

Then, I looked around the place and saw groups of people sharing that same large that I was about to go back to the hotel and eat all by myself.

Maybe the Korean's do eat less than we do, at least when it comes to dessert!

Shopping in Seoul

My apologies for my lengthy writing absence. I was traveling and blew my eardrum on the return flight but that will be a future Blog.

I love to shop in Asia. Yet for the first time it was tough to buy. To begin, there are no real bargains. It is not like shopping in China or Thailand.

But if you are tiny from head to toe, you may be in luck. But tiny does not have a universal definition.

The people of Seoul are some of the best dressed people in the world. Even the street people are somewhat fashionable.

The Korean fashion sense is exquisite but unfortunately it is not a shopping mecca for most Americans. Their large maybe the equivalent of our extra-small. The only safe purchase is a scarf. They are unique, gorgeous and fit everyone.

Since I couldn't get my foot in a shoe, it was accessories only.

And the sizing is also true for men's clothing. My son is a medium in most US brands. He has a slim but athletic build but even some of the extra-large t-shirts I bought him were too small.

The majority of stores will not allow you to try clothes on. The sales clerks only speak two words of English, "No try."

But this is my favorite shopping experience:

We went into this very tiny jacket boutique, it was no larger than 14 by 8. The store had about 5 racks. I handed the sales clerk my jacket to try on a couple of their jackets. I was so excited as I stood in my cami. I had finally found someone who would let me try on. I proceeded to have a party trying on at least 6 jackets until I was convinced nothing would fit.

I don't love traveling with a group (yet another future Blog) but as I was with a group and we had pre-arranged a time and place to meet, I had to leave. I asked the clerk for my jacket but she was clueless as to what I wanted. I couldn't explain anything in Korean and she didn't know a word of English. I began to pantomime.

She continued to have no idea what I was talking about. I began searching the racks for "My jacket.". Now keep in mind, this store was so tiny you hardly could turn around in there.

Finally, she seemed to understand but was puzzeled as well. She couldn't remember where she put my jacket. She hung it up somewhere and couldn't find it.

Of course by now I had less than 5 minutes to meet our group- and had to be on time as we were on our way to a Korean play (which turned out to be similar to a Korean Blue Man Group) -

Half-naked and totally frustrated, I took the shop's business card and ran several blocks to our bus. I told our tour guide what happened. She used her cell phone to call the clerk and they proceeded to speak back and forth in Korean. This Mensa-candidate clerk searched again and again. By now, the store owner had been called and arrived at the store. With his help, finally they found it.

Do ya think this is how they stock the joint?