Dare I tell you about our most unforgettable Korean mother-daughter experience?
As previous posts explain, I was traveling with my adult daughter in Seoul.
On the flight over I came down with an horrendous cold and ear infection. Unfortunately, I passed it on to my daughter, who shortly was in even worse shape than I was and could barely breathe at all.
Both of our colds turned into serious sinus infections. I couldn’t sleep so I went to the spa to check it out.
The entire ladies spa at the COEX Intercontinental is literally located within a sauna, which is where the treatments are given. I am not usually a sauna lover but I figured that a sauna just might clear our sinus.
The receptionist handed me a menu of services. I booked appointments for both of us, scheduled simultaneously–my daughter for an aroma therapy massage. For me, a foot and face massage.
We went down to the 5-star-rated health club and, as the rules stated, left our shoes at the door. The attendant handed us house-coat type robes made from light cotton and shower shoes and escorted us to our lockers. We changed and headed for the treatment room.
Inside the room we found two Korean women, both dressed only in matching black bras and underwear. One woman was relatively thin while the other was built like a sumo wrestler.
My daughter and I thought we had stumbled into someone else’s treatment session. Before we could turn around to leave, the thin one whipped off her bra, grabbed me by the hand and led me to a table.
What in the world had I got us both into?
Before my daughter could stop her, the fat one snatched her robe from her and laid her down on the other table.
My daughter gave me that ‘what the hell is this’ look. She sniffed through her cold: “This is totally awkward.”
Meanwhile, I start roaring with laughter.
The treatments began. I was wondering why my therapist took her bra off but, I figured, what the hell–if topless massages are the thing in Korea, so be it!
The foot massage felt like the masseuse was poking me with a corkscrew every few seconds in a different spot–constant pain with no relief.
Even with plugged ears I heard my daughter quietly pleading, “Lighter please.” As it turned out, the whale had placed a towel on my daughter’s rear, then climbed on top of her and dug her knees into her to add more pressure. Luckily, my daughter survived.
Meanwhile, my “therapist” is working on my legs with what feels like a mallet. I was laughing hysterically–the more we ask them to lighten up the more pressure they apply.
My therapist turned me over for my face massage. She started out by slapping me in the face and then pinching me in very quick rhythmic fashion, until I felt one of the Three Stooges.
This beating was followed by the application of some cold, soothing ointment, which I hoped might stop the black and blue marks from appearing. Next, she started to wrap my face in gauze as though I were a mummy. When the wrapping reached my cold-clogged nose and mouth, I grabbed her hand and firmly said, “No.”
My therapist muttered something in Korean, then took a scissors and cut a tiny hole for my nose. I grabbed the gauze and unwrapped myself: “No! I can’t breathe!”
Meanwhile, my daughter’s therapist was sprawling across her body to massage her neck. My poor child was encased in the therapist’s blubber and literally wiggling to crawl out from under her.
My daughter escaped before me. Later, I found in her house-coat-like robe, dangling her feet in the hot tub.
“That–” she took a giant pause”–was not relaxing.”
The black and blue marks on my legs were starting to appear. I dipped my toe in one of the individual baths and almost went into shock at the temperature of the freezing cold water.
I quickly dressed and met my daughter at the desk as she was signing us both out.
How was the massage? Did she feel better? the receptionist wanted to know.
“Definitely,” she lied.
We limped back to our room now needing to recover from far more than a bad cold!